You often don’t realize how you sound to other people until you have one of those moments when you realize that someone else is listening to you.
That may seem obvious: if you’re talking to someone of course there is someone listening to you. But most of the time we’re not — or I should say “I’m not” — acutely aware of it. So I just talk.
The other day I was on a teleconference for work — I’m still working from home as I can’t yet drive — and after a while became aware that my wife was there and could hear what was going on.
And then I became aware of what I was saying, and it didn’t sound good. I hit the mute button and asked her, “am I sounding like a dick? Because I’m feeling like a dick.” And she answered, “yeah, you kinda do sound like a dick”. Ouch.
I’ve been feeling that way in general — being stuck at home is wearing on me, no exercise is wearing on me, restless sleep is wearing on me. And the result is a low tolerance for anything I perceive as BS.
Not really the best way to be.
Then I was thinking, it would be good to have that bit of awareness that, hey, other people are actually listening to what I’m saying. What do I really want to say?
When I got on the phone today for another call, there was the same amount of BS, but for some reason it seemed different. I guess that’s good.
I had a PT visit today — last one before going to see the doctor again next week. I went up & down stairs on crutches, did exercises with a physio ball, stretches. I’m so ready — mentally — to start doing something more. Here’s to hoping the doctor says the leg is ready too. (raise glass, drink wine).